I love the ocean, I love the waves, I love the sand and shore. The problem is when you start talking about the sea it somehow takes you under the water. Maybe it’s Disney’s fault. “Under The Sea” is currently blasting through my head despite the nice calm jazz music that is actually playing. So here’s the thing. I’m scared of fish.
I REALLY don’t like them. I would tell you what I don’t like about them but I would have to think about them more. So there are now a list of questions going through your head:
Q: What is your issue with fish?
A: When I was young there was a lake incident where fish nibbled on my toes and freaked me out. Incidents as a child in the ocean getting nibbled on by fish, pinched by crabs and my siblings being stung by jelly fish. I hated the movie Little Mermaid. It scared me to death as a kid. Then there was the five million times I was taken to the aquarium post fish traumas.
Q: All fish?
A: After the first 10x (in about 3 days) my son and I watched Finding Nemo, I was able to watch the whole thing without turning away. I can now quote almost the whole thing and have decided they are not real fish. That is the only “fish” that I’m ok with.
Q: Wait a minute you talk about surfing?
A: Surfing is worth exposure to fish. I have been known to actually surf during jelly fish season (when they are just balls of jelly and haven’t opened up to be killers yet, just little ant bites if you hit the wrong spot). Also I tell myself that there aren’t any in the ocean and can normally get away with that until some punk kid bursts my dream world.
I hope that answers most of your questions. Feel free to post any other questions in the comments and I will be happy to answer. The numerous times that fish jokes have been played on me over the years has done nothing to help my fish phobia.
The sea is an amazing beautiful place! I love to be sailing on top of it, just not “under the sea.”
Note: The people mentioned in this post who executed said fish jokes are no longer part of this world. Please take this as a warning: fish joke perpetrators will be shot on sight.