I’ve been divorced. My husband has been divorced. I would go so far as to say, 50% of my friends have been divorced. My husband and I have skated entirely too close to divorce ourselves. Bottom line MARRIAGE ISN’T EASY!!!!! I’ve watched so many friends fight to hold on to their marriages. With these kinds of odds it seems pretty silly to get married. [I’m going to go ahead and interject right here and say that I am discussing Christian Marriage. I am not talking about a legal contract that is filed with the court system.] Of course with the other option being celibacy I understand the insane amount of perfectly… ok relatively sane people getting married every year. Is there any hope for them?
I remember feeling like there was no hope. That he had to do… x, y & z, for it to work. I remember thinking if… x, y & z, hadn’t happened it could work. I remember saying that I was “trying” or “working on it.” Let’s just have a really honest moment right here and now: stop looking for something to change what has already happened, stop looking for someone else to change who you can’t control, stop trying to fix it between you and your spouse.
… I know, I know: “Oh great she’s officially lost it.”
Stay with me for just another minute. Until you and God get things worked out, you and anyone else are not going to work out. Stop the “but he isn’t” “but she won’t” “but what about”…. oh my goodness you are driving me crazy. Don’t try to work things out with God. Trying to work things out with God means you are going to hell. Work things out with God. Right now! If you aren’t reading the Bible daily then start doing that. I don’t mean just open the book up and read through it… I mean take the thing apart like it’s the best mystery novel you have ever read and you are determined to find out who done it before they tell you. I won’t spoil the story and tell you. Sit for 5 minutes each day and be quiet. I know 5 minutes is a long time but lets face it you sit for 45 minutes to watch a 30 minute show and don’t move. Pray. I’m talking your best friend who knows you better than anyone else is on the other end of the phone kind of praying. Be thankful for everything you can think of every day.
Your hope is not in your spouse changing. Your hope is not in talking about it to a therapist (even though I highly recommend talking to one). Your hope is not found in a book other then the Bible (even though there are a number I highly recommend reading after you read the Bible every day). Your hope is literally, “built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.” So why would you expect to find hope anywhere else?