I will never forget the deadly silence that heralded the end of my marriage. To kill something so young, so fragile, what a horrible tragedy. There were no words left to say, the silence was deafening.
It snuck up on us really, this deadly silence. It starts out as something hardly worth mentioning. Some hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Which lead to guarding ourselves and our words to avoid conflict, to avoid silence. So the deep conversations become small talk. Opening the door to a much bigger conflict.
The small talk only created more silence. Maybe there were words being said, but the conversations were so empty. We were so far apart that we had to shout to be heard, even when we were in the same room.
At this point I no longer knew anything, i could only guess. We were having to read each others minds, with no power of telepathy. So I made up my own stories, filled in my own words and created the worst possible scenarios. All because of silence. The truth became only what we made of it. Trust, a word of the past. Love, incomprehensible. The silence continued to build.
I didn’t want to be bigger, I wouldn’t step up. This was our life: living together but so far apart. Our marriage lasted for 50 days, 7 of which were silence.
Note: The marriage did not end based on silence alone, I will be telling more of my story in upcoming articles. Coming soon: The Divorce Toolbox