What is Your Sanity Worth? (Day 18: Worth)

Just under two years ago I had to ask myself a very serious question: what is my sanity worth?

I was working a high stress job, 60+ hours a week and my marriage was on the rocks.  I made a decent salary, my job “made a difference” in the world, I worked with my best friend and I was really, really good at it.  It was after an explosive round of “who can destroy your marriage first” that I was driving with tears pouring down my face and I decided my sanity was worth everything.

Fast forward five months later…

I had quit my job, I was officially at stay at home mom, and our marriage was on the mend.  I think that’s when I realized, “Oh no.  I think the real problem is me.”  I had been working so hard, blaming everyone else for any problem and the real problem was me.  Something was wrong.  Those depression episodes, nearly suicidal depression episodes, hadn’t gone away.  I didn’t have any friends. My house was not magically clean.  There was no miraculous change from my over weight body to a hot sexy fit body.  I thought the world was supposed to just be rainbows and butterflies.  I did what I had to do.  I said “my sanity was worth it” and I gave everything up.

If you have experienced this you know exactly where I am going.  I hope that your “holy shift” will take place right here, reading this article, I promise it will be a lot easier if it does.  I had more of a nudge.  My friend and business sponsor got me reading self help books.  I know, I really did roll my eyes in the back of my head too.  In the interest of time I elected to listen to this dubious collection of self help books on Audible as I ran.  That’s when it started.  Concepts like: fear, vulnerability and my power source leaped into my head, as I huffed and puffed the mile up the road and back.  12 months earlier if you had asked me, or anyone, what I was scared of they would have laughed at you.  Vulnerability was a bad word.  I would have said my power source was God, not realize that I had forgotten to plug myself in.  It was time to get serious.

So I reluctantly found a psychologist.  Set up my first appointment and did my best to schedule something at the same time so I would have to cancel.  I was not surprised to find out that the best “tool” that my psychologist had was more books.  Don’t get me wrong she helped me a lot in our appointments, but the “holy shift” happened by myself reading a book.

So I’m going to ask you once more: what is your sanity worth?  Is it worth sucking it up, ordering some self help books off Amazon (so no one sees you in the self help section at Barnes & Nobel) and taking the time to work on yourself?  I’m going to leave you with a list of books that have changed my life.  If you are serious about your sanity I suggest you find the one that’s title jumps out at you (and doesn’t make you gag) and get to work.

You Are a Badass – Jen Sincero (currently reading)

Feel The Fear & Do It Anyways – Susan Jeffers

Daring Greatly – Brene Brown

The Carpenter – Jon Gordon

The Energy Bus – Jon Gordon

Training Camp – Jon Gordon

Boundaries – Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (If you have kids: Boundaries with Kids is a must read)

CoDependent No More – Melody Beattie

… just to name a few.

This post is part of the Write 31 Days Challenge. To see the rest of the posts in this challenge, click here


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